Trust issues prove insidious and some of the most difficult to overcome. Why are they so tricky? Any number of things start, trigger and impact trust issues. People seeking freedom from their trust issues need to identify their source, make a plan to deal with them and change how they respond to them moving forward. These appear simple on the surface and they are for the most part. The biggest trick stems from executing them. We must look at each in turn.
Identifying the Source of Trust Issues
Trust damage come from both external and internal sources. Specific exterior events plant the seed for trust issues and the internal response often feeds the underlying doubts. Looking at each help clarify the presence.
Outside Factors
When facing these items, one benefits by considering them like inciting incidents in stories. They might not ever come up exactly the same way again, but they get the ball rolling. Also, the events, especially if not addressed, may spiral into a repeating pattern.
* Bad Examples: The first relational experiences one gets is in the the home where they were born. This is where they experience trust first hand. Parents make promises to do certain things. If they fail to follow through on these things, one begins to wonder if anyone will come through when the chips are down.
* Infidelity: Nothing goes further to break trust and sow doubt from the outside than a cheating partner. Several questions, some valid and others invalid, worm their way into the mind. Cheating casts everything in a sickly light proving much more difficult to combat going forward.
Inside Factors
The internal life of someone may not overtly create trust issues. One should think of these as nutrients in the soil. They can either promote or deter the possibility of trust. These often manifest in consistent ways and are much harder to alter.
* Incorrect Messages: Taking the wrong message from an event and attaching a value statement to it causes doubt to creep around the edges. Trust needs truth like plants require sunlight. These messages are lies told to one's self.
* Inadequacy: An assessment of one's value makes trusting good and bad external events more difficult. If selecting people who always cheat, it would be easy to feel one deserves to be cheated on and not worth love. These statements are false, but the lowered view makes them easier to attach in the mind.
Making a Plan
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to come out differently causes madness. For such a reason, a person needs a plan to change their outlook on several things including themselves. The plan will address key roadblocks to altering mindsets.
* Outside help from a counselor or trusted friend gives a fresh and accurate viewpoint.
* Lists of inaccurate views and their break with outside evidence changes the way one sees things.
* Challenges arise when guarding oneself, so have a consistent series of steps to address the issues when they arise.
Growing into a Fresh Viewpoint
Once possessing an accurate view with trust as the cornerstone change becomes possible. One must strive for success even though these issues want to remain.
* Be Positive: Outlook is key, so keep it positive.
* Consistency: Momentum grows when someone executes positive behaviors like looking at things correctly.
* Use the New: New and correct viewpoints need to be guarded fiercely and used every time to bring about change.
These actions are difficult in the face of a new cheating partner or the secret whispers from inside. This is why having someone who you can ask for help bolsters the odds for success. Find that ally and lean on them when tested.
Peace comes from trusting one's self because almost everything in the world seeks to undermine it at all costs. It is not enough to be in a place emotionally where than is possible. One also needs to establish space within their life where truth can flourish. From a place of hope and trust, one can trust others and grow into deeper relationships moving forward.
