Moving Mountains isn't Necessary - It Only Takes One Trick to Win Her Back

Getting your girlfriend back may seem like the most difficult task on the planet. It doesn't have to be though. Many guys make it much more difficult than is necessary. You see, you've been led to believe, mostly in Hollywood movies and by the makers of fine jewelry, chocolate, and greeting cards, that this is the way it's supposed to be. That isn't the case at all.

In fact, once the girl leaves, the average relationship may seem irrevocably broken, but there are still easy tips you can follow that really will help you get her back. Here are a few things you should remember if you really want to win her back.

Stop Living in the Past

Turn of the century American Author, Alice Morse Earle, once wrote: "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." Living in relationship past robs you both of all the joy of each day together when you're in the relationship. Now that she has left, however, it can rob you of a clear perspective on what needs to be done now in order to save the relationship and make it work this time around.

Become the Man You WANT to Be

This is hard for many men. It's something you may not have given a lot of thought to. Bruce Willis starred in a great movie called The Kid, where the grown up man is confronted by his eight year old self. The eight year old was horrified at the man he'd become saying, "So, I'm forty, I'm not married, I don't fly jets, and I don't have a dog? I grow up to be a loser."

Sometimes there is wisdom in those childhood echoes. You may have given up on the idea of flying jets (who really ever gives that one up though?), but that doesn't mean you can't take steps to be the man you want to be -- even if that does involve learning to fly a jet. The first step is deciding who you want to be. Then you must tackle the process of becoming that man.

How does that Help You Get the Girl?

Life doesn't always follow a movie script. You might have to wait a little while to really get her attention. But, once you start making real, notable changes in the man you are and stop trying to recapture a past that wasn't as picture perfect as you remember, you'll be able to gain a new outlook on the future. One thing is certain. Once you become the man you WANT to be, the here and now, the PRESENT, is something she'll WANT to be part of.

How To Get Your Ex Back: Assessing Men's Expectations

How To Get Your Ex Back: Assessing Men's Expectations: In a relationship, a challenge arises as to whether a man's expectation falls into the reasonable or unreasonable category. Taking ti...

Spotting the Good Guys

The lament of several women centers around finding good guys and how impossible the task appears. While not the easiest process in the world, a few simple tweaks to one's outlook may bring results where mining online dating sites and locals clubs have failed. Knowing where to look, what you are looking for and your own roadblocks must come into focus before the good guys will begin surfacing.

Where to Look?

This is one of the easiest things to fix. Men are not hiding in a secret location. They are everywhere. The problem isn't finding guys. It is finding the right guys.

Look Around: Pay attention to the places you are already frequenting. If personal health is an interest, there will be men at the gym, running trails and even the yoga class. If you have a hobby or other passions, there will be a place you visit to get supplies or information. Keep your head up and make eye contact.

Situational Awareness: Being in environments with men who share similar interests is not enough. You will need to sift through to find the ones who will be right for you. Take the gym as an example. Connecting with a body builder hyper focused on free weights if you prefer someone with greater overall fitness will lead to greater frustration than not being able to find anyone. Look for the right mesh.

What Do You Want?

Knowing oneself can be a challenge to meeting the right guy. Everyone possesses things, both known and perhaps hidden, nudging them towards specific men. Like fertilizer for a garden, being aware of what you need, want and will not tolerate make finding the best guy for you much more fruitful than a scattershot approach.

* Deal Breakers: What must you have or will not tolerate in anyone?
* Deep Wants: Unlike breakers, you have to know what fills your heart drawing you to another person.
* Delightful Lures: Areas arise pulling you into deeper waters and only certain types of men will draw that from you.

What Prevents Your Openness?

When entering into a relationship, a delicate dance begins leading some to shy away from even the best guy for them. More than knowing likes or dislikes or sharing interests, one needs to address real things blocking them from a true relationship. This often proves challenging because no one likes to think they are the cause of their own pain.

Root Out Prejudices: Preconceived notions do more to short circuit relationships than true disagreements. Looking at someone and dismissing them out of hand reduces the number of guys, good and otherwise, out there being considered. Taking a chance on someone gives love a chance to blossom.

Being Real: Presenting false fronts, even to make yourself feel better, gives the wrong impression. You are meeting another person. How they act might be directly related to how you are acting. If being fake and hide what you really feel when you are with them, they likely will respond in kind. The risk of being real offers the other person the opportunity for honesty as well.

Good guys are mixed in with every other kind of guy out there. Also, a good guy for you might surprise you. You need to check in the places you already are, know what you're really looking for and having an open heart to allow love a chance to grow. Love is often hard to find. You need to help it along. For More

The Trap of a Torrent of Texts

Save My Marrige Today

Technology can bring people closer together by increasing ease of communication, eliminating costs and reducing distance between couples. As a beneficial tool, smart phones combined with inexpensive plans allow couples to be in regular contact.

It can grow tempting to reach out for a partner at anytime without consideration of how the contact might be received. One needs to be aware of the reasons they text, the limitations of communication via text and when a line has been crossed to prevent a rise in concern of a partner.

Reasons to Text

Texting serves many purposes with friends, family, co workers and partners. The ease of texting has replaced many conventional forms of communication. The number of phone calls between individuals have dropped in favor of a quick, emoji filled text message. Let's look at some good reasons to text.

* Confirmation: A quick message to verify plans or location.
* Heads Up: When working late or held up by traffic, notifying a loved one can make them feel special and alleviate worry.
* Requests: Answering a loving offer for take out and providing the specific menu items desired.
* Loving Messages: Lovey dovey words of affection replete with kisses and hearts.

Limits of Texting

While a flexible and powerful tool, texts fall short in several areas. One needs to take these problems into account when using texts as a communication device.

No Nuance: Limitations of space and words make long conversations with emotional context difficult. Even with the addition of emojis, deeper feelings refuse to be captured via text. Greater misunderstanding can arise due to the gaps left by not being able to suss out sarcasm or a joking tone.

Response Time: Patience can be tested when chatting with someone through text. Simple things like travel, dead batteries and interruptions delay a partner from answering back. The limbo created by waiting has the emotional capacity to twist one's guts into knots.

Lacking Depth: With both of the above barriers to communication, most couples keep their text messages short and on the surface. This is an excellent use of the medium. Unfortunately, texting creates a pattern where couples avoid deeper topics even when they are not typing their responses.

Crossing the Line

Clear warning signs exist when approaching critical mass when it comes to texting a partner. Taking them into account as a group will help prevent a state where someone is seeking an escape hatch.

1. Don't start multiple chat threads.
2. Watch out that you're not only one texting.
3. Avoid bringing up topics better dealt with in face to face chats.
4. If the person does not respond, resist the urge to check to make sure they got your last text.
5. Establish healthy boundaries with all forms of communication, especially text, and stick to them.

If tempted to break these, you need to look inward to determine the cause. A deeper issue may exist causing behavior outside the norm. It is also wise to see if there is a pattern occurring across all forms of communication and with everyone.

Texting a loved one can be enjoyable and playful. Respect and attention go a long way to preventing the wrong message from being sent. Hold back and see how much richer one on one time becomes without the phone in your hand. For More:

Moving Forward by Going Through

Everyone faces challenges when it comes to the dissolution of relationships. Feelings run high. Sensations of loss and instability plague even the most assured individuals. It takes more than a strong will, a blind eye or even a new relationship to help someone get to the healthy place they seek. In order to find what they need, one must push through the pain toward wholeness.

Why It Should Happen?

Think about when an injury to the body is sustained. What does it take to return to full health and perform even everyday functions without pain? If someone suffers long enough, they may not ever move, sit or even breathe without feeling as though they are being challenged by the actions. A feeling of hopelessness may creep into their lives.

Relational pain falls into the same category. Just as recovering from a broken limb, one should deal with their emotional pain and move along the path to recovery. They can only enter into a healthy relationship after addressing the fallout of the previous one. The simplest thing to do is take a slow and healthy approach to deal with all the issues and make slow progress.


Using the Mind

Some steps require using reason to catalog and note patterns. One of the strongest skills people, even those not professionally trained, have exists in recognizing patterns. This simple skill can expedite the process permitting quicker recovery.

Make a List: Start with a simple breakdown of what happened listing all the aspects of the relationship. The more complete the analysis then it will point to all the things treasured and lost within the relationship.

Look for Patterns: By using the list and the recent relationship, one should see if they can find repeat occurrences within prior relationships. This can be difficult since most people want to forget their worst attributes. For example, someone taking into account how unchecked jealous has damaged trust may find it hard to face.

Assess the Causes: More than lists and patterns, you need to see how much of these fall into areas you had a hand in manifesting. This can be hard because the temptation is to take too much or too little responsibility. Often extremes fail to affect a true changes. Also, a negative in one relationship may become a positive in another.

Now, The Heart

The mind, though great at cataloging, never fully processes things outside of a coldly clinical approach. To truly release the past relationship, one must engage the heart because it performs vital tasks. Let's look at some things the heat is well designed for.

* Grieving: Releasing pain after acknowledging the damage it has cause through the many aspects of loss happens in the heart.
* Finding: Being drawn to important things like connection and communication can be sensed through the heart.
* Treasuring: Holding onto key parts of relationship often occur in the stronghold of the heart.

The past can be a beautiful story carrying one forward in to richer relationships or an anchor dragging everyone to the bottom of a sad sad sea. Seeking health, using the mind and accessing the heart frees one from the negative bonds of the past. It takes bravery to enter this struggle and perseverance to reach the end. Be strong, be brave and stay with yourself. Only you can find the freedom you seek, so press on through and forward. For More :

Family Holding Back on the Ex

When taking an ex back, several things need to be considered. The process can take a long time to get everything in order from one's feelings, resolution of the incident which caused the break up and a plan to reintegrate them back into your life. Following this involved course, one might be surprised by they way their family reacts. Everyone wants to believe their family will acquiesce to the wishes of the couple. Rarely does anything ever go the way one wants or believes it will, so it is best to be aware and eyes open.

Responses

Family responses to one taking back an ex can be varied. Given the wide range of how family's may react, one needs to be prepared. Let's look at a few possible responses.

* Cautious Optimism: In several situations, this could be the best response hoped for as your family is not actively rooting against your reestablished relationship.

* Luke Warm: The family neither supports nor detracts from the relationship. Unlike the optimistic group, this family proves far more likely to remind one of the troubles and downgrade some of the positive experiences.

* Active Antagonism: As the name suggests, no positives are ever brought up. More often than not, the family tends to degrade the ex by bringing up less than stellar aspects of their personality, behavior and how they tanked the initial relationship.

Reasons

As complicated as the reactions, a family's reasons for why they act the way they do when hearing about the rekindled relationship can be filled with twists and turns. Some of the reasons will have a valid base supported by logic. Other reasons will be pure speculation and suspicion. Weeding out the truth becomes critical to prevent one's family from burning the foundation from under the renewed romance.

* Protection: Family's see part of their role as watching out for those they love.
* Wisdom: As a group, families believe they are more aware of the best thing since they are not swept up with emotions.
* Experience: One or more people in the family may have tried restarting romances and view it as folly.
* Fear: They can recall the pain of the dissolution of the initial relationship and do not want to have it happen again.

Reactions

Ultimately, your reaction to the your family will bring them closer to accepting the relationship. One of the keys centers around their understanding you have considered all the things their worried about and addressed them with your ex. Granted, a clear discussion will never alleviate all their concerns. In fact, one should not try to act in such a way as to mollify them. Your family is entitled to their own feelings. Their feelings should not damage your relationship with them or hinder either your relationship with your ex.

Taking time to have conversations, both with your family and your ex, will go a long way to demonstrating how much time, effort and care has gone into restarting the relationship. It may take a while before everyone can get together and begin rebuilding their connection. Until then, you will be the link between the two reassuring them about the decisions being made and solidity of all your relationships. For More :

Breaking Through Being Ignored

Feeling dismissed and ignored stings deeper than almost any other feeling. One would almost rather feel the highest highs of love followed by the depths of despair of a break up than exist in the limbo of the unknown.

What should a person do when they believe they are being ignored? Taking stock of the relationship, determining the source of the breakdown and fixing the problem will need to occur before anything will resolve for the positive or negative.

Where Things Stand

Though seemingly obvious, one needs to make sure certain things exist before taking offense. Some of the items can be established without a conversation. However, one must often have a conversation with their partner to confirm things.

* Verify the Relationship: Sometimes if you have kept things casual at the outset, everyone might not be aware of the depth of the relationship. Someone who does not know they are in a relationship cannot truly ignore the other person.

* Confirm the Expectations: Once in a relationship, it becomes critical to set a baseline for interaction. Having an understanding about frequency of contact, what forms of communication will be the norm and level of exclusivity help to create the plan moving forward.

* Avoid Being Unrealistic: Applying too much pressure might tend to push a partner away leading to very situation where the act of ignoring happens. You must take into account what you want while allowing for the needs of your partner.

Where Did Things Break Down

It can be hard to know the true cause of why relationships move in the ways they do. Some of the things blocking the course of the progression grow numerous.

* Fear: Either person can let fear stop them from moving forward or pulling back to keep themselves safe.
* Not Ready: Maybe someone is not ready to commit to a deeper level.
* Purposeless: A partner may feel like they intended to have fun without any of the regular strings attached.

Be aware, these things could arise from either side of the relationship. You could feel any of these things. Also, a feeling you are presenting might push the other person away creating the very distance you fear.

How to Fix Things

The single best way to repair the damage and get things back on track is to have the difficult conversation. Most people prefer to let things languish until they die rather than taking the necessary steps discuss their deep feelings. No one wants to hurt another person.

Addressing fears, feelings, direction and desires means having more than single discussion. Communication proves to be the most challenging thing facing a couple because they have to be honest with themselves as well as the other person. Nothing threatens a relationship more than straight, honest talk.

In the end, growing from a mild relationship into a deeper commitment means facing hurdles like being ignored and overcoming them. One needs to put their own fears in check and become vulnerable with their partner. From a place of trust, any couple can thrive. It only takes a little time and courage. Love means being bold when the heart trembles.

Knowing If He's Checked Out Of The Relationship

Prognostication within a relationship means being aware of what the individual does and how those actions relate to future behaviors.

Ask anyone seeking to predict the weather or the winner of this season's Bachelor and they will confess the low likelihood of success. Fortunately, targeting specific ways he acts with you will indicate the temperature of the relationship. Let's look at these behaviors and the relational result.

Relation Status: Hot

In this zone, everything is hitting on all cylinders. These items will be the best they could possibly be both within the relationship and how things are operating.

Communication: He shares everything. No parts of his life appear off limits or clouded in too much mystery. He is more than an open book. He shares information without being asked, keeps everyone in the loop and listens well when you respond.

Teamwork: When it comes to everything, he possess clear opinions while taking in valuable input. Every decision demonstrates he is part of a team.

Vulnerability: His intentions and heart clearly are on display. At no point is there a question as to who he is aligned with. He confesses both his struggles and victories, his passions and plights.

Prognosis: Everything looks great. The relationship can grow and plumb greater depths from this place.

Relation Status: Warm

Bumps show up at this point. Some can be deep enough to cause lasting damage like a busted tire due to a huge pothole coming out of nowhere. That same thing can do more extensive damage down the road if not repaired.

Communication: He answers the questions posed to him without offering any elaboration. He does not lie or deliberately avoid topics. He is merely less inclined to talk with you about things.

Teamwork: He may be on board to work with you while keeping other areas completely separate. He might offer excuses like certain things do not involve you. His investment, though not devoid, is significantly less than full.

Vulnerability: His actions and motivations seem to be shrouded in mystery. He might be able to explain certain things. He more often will say he does not know what he thinks, feels or wants in a given situation.

Prognosis: Cause for concern. The way things trend at this point means the relationship is moving toward jeopardy, but it can still be saved.

Relation Status: Cold

Long term problems have fractured the skeleton making support, love and care luxuries rather than regular occurrences. From here, life support for love calls into question if things will survive.

Communication: He keeps everything to himself. Often he gives no basic information. He withholds details about where he is, what he is doing and who he spends time with. He represents the Bermuda Triangle in your life.

Teamwork: His actions point to being a solo player. Not only does he only look out for his interests, he likely never takes into account what you need even on the most basic level.

Vulnerability: He gives no sign of having any sort of emotional life or depth. He guards himself as though sharing anything with you might put himself at risk. He also does not seem to take into account the impact his coldness has on you.

Prognosis: Not good. If hope with tough work exists in the Warm stage, then tripled efforts and a miracle will be needed to rescue the relationship.

Stopping the cooling of the relationship means standing up, calling out problems and working when times get tough. Be brave. If he is not willing to change, you need to take the steps to keep yourself safe and healthy with or without him.

Assessing Men's Expectations

In a relationship, a challenge arises as to whether a man's expectation falls into the reasonable or unreasonable category. Taking time, considering what is being asked and the reason for the expectation forces one to prognosticate the future for themselves and the relationship. Nothing strains a relationship like an unrealistic standard. Let's look at expectations, their unreasonable counterparts and the motivations behind them.

Appearance: "I want her to look..."

Everyone has a type or things about how their partner looks. Because of the initial impression made by appearance, several expectations form. Some of these are based on personal taste. A partner may prefer a certain hair color or clothing choice. Sometimes these can be fluid provided the guy realizes all the factors going into how someone looks.

Unrealistic: Run away if when his expectation sounds like a letter to a popular men's magazine complete with measurements and phrases like "the girl next door." A preference for down to earth beauty typified by the description is fine. When it becomes the only focus, he is seeking some teenage fantasy rather than a real person.

Reason for the Unreasonable Expectation: Simply put, a lack of maturity establishes this type of expectation. One of the greatest dangers with playing into this view of oneself centers around the flattening of other healthy aspects of you. Intelligence and personality become secondary at best with a focus on a looks.


Personality: "She's got to be..."

Everyone has heard a litany of descriptors for personality or nature including sweet, exciting, biting and countless others to which they are drawn. We all have parts of our personalities and they manifest themselves in different ways. One person might display playfulness by cracking jokes while another might chose to take time to plan an activity. Neither is wrong because they show a nuanced way of being.

Unrealistic: "You need to be..." implies a static form of interactions. The words themselves dictate someone wanting their needs to be met without every taking into account how the other person feels. No one gets to mandate the way someone expresses themselves.

Reason for the Unreasonable Expectation: Any number of reasons might be the cause for such an expectation. Fear of not being in control or wishing to deal with only things on the surface may nudge a man to keep things light, reasonable or sensual. Emotional and relational self management combined with safety may make a guy stick guardrails around a freely expressing person.

Relational: "My partner always..."

People like to know who they are dealing with. They seek someone with similar interests, love languages they connect with and with whom they experience a connection. These factors, in and of themselves, are not bad. They can help in the selection process and everyone has them.

Unrealistic: "Always" and "only" for every aspect of a partner does not allow for a wide range of things. As the list grows from one or two declarative items, the man has stopped looking for a person. He starts seeking a list. A major drawback is how many people it cuts out of being a potential partner.

Reason for the Unreasonable Expectation: Does everyone not want exactly what they want without any surprises? Most do. If asked, men would say they are open minded with a few deal breakers. This is true. A few men go so far as to mandate everything about the person they seek. Those individuals could be dealing with issues and possibly require time and space to grow.

Everyone, men and women, have expectations. It is impossible not to have them. The moment the expectations dictate everything about a possible partner is when they cross over into unrealistic. Standing up to unreasonable demands will help break the expectations opening the door for a deeper relationship and opportunity to discover each other for real.

Keeping Partners Happy

Relationship happiness challenges every couple and grows only more so the longer couples remain together. It goes beyond flowers at Valentine's Day and a sweet card on the anniversary. Knowing one's partner is critical followed closely by avoiding the temptation of self interest. Let's see some key missteps and wins in keeping partners happy.

Self Happiness Temptation

The person's tastes and preferences one knows the best is their own. When making decisions in a relationship, they can have a hard time putting aside what they prefer in favor of their partner. What causes these choices to be wrong?

* They ask for a change the partner is not willing to make -- either because they do not want or are not ready to make.
* They seek to establish a level of commitment for one's own security in the relationship.
* They cast the individual in a light not fitting who they really are causing them to feel a deep discomfort.
* They call into question the reason for the relationship if they do not meet unspoken expectations.

Early on, these sorts of things can be talked out because couples are getting to know each other. The amount of information they do not have far outweighs what they possess. Trouble occurs when it continues to happen because then a partner begins feeling they are not being heard.

What Makes Them Happy

A few simple rules exist to discover what makes another person feel happy in a relationship. If they are simple, people think everyone gains access and follows through in every instance. Because of such an unfortunate misconception coupled with a person's natural desire to follow their own self interest, partners need to interrogate and investigate what they are doing.

Ask: Often simply asking a partner will give the clearest indication the aspects of relationships bringing them the most joy. Bear in mind, this might change because people often blind themselves to what they really want. People also need to feel safe enough to be able to give voice to their desires in a relationship.

Watch: People will do things pointing to just what makes them happy. Do they say they need time alone and then linger in the same room with questions? They could be asking for the contact or time. Maybe they produce something creative and need the nurturing safety of the relationship.

Hear: As with everything, we all long to be heard, sometimes even the words. A partner who lived in a tumultuous house growing up may struggle with expressing how deeply they care. By being exposed to their history, one can pick out bits of their story coming through in what they do and positively impact them when they are opening up.

Happiness Connection

There are two people in the relationship, so happiness is not based on a single side. Pursing only one person's bliss will create a lack of balance. Why would this be bad? It provides a place of hiding. By being shielded, couples may become close without any opportunity for deeper connection. This means communicating, exploring activities together and fostering inclusion. This should be reciprocated because happiness should be both people's goal.

Think of a relationship as a tree. Rarely, does anyone ask if a tree is happy. Fortunately, everyone knows when it is happy because it is healthy, strong and growing. A relationship where both partners flourish, feel heard and laugh together stretches its root deep into the ground and hold fast for years to come.

Moving Back into Trust

Trust issues prove insidious and some of the most difficult to overcome. Why are they so tricky? Any number of things start, trigger and impact trust issues. People seeking freedom from their trust issues need to identify their source, make a plan to deal with them and change how they respond to them moving forward. These appear simple on the surface and they are for the most part. The biggest trick stems from executing them. We must look at each in turn.

Identifying the Source of Trust Issues

Trust damage come from both external and internal sources. Specific exterior events plant the seed for trust issues and the internal response often feeds the underlying doubts. Looking at each help clarify the presence.

Outside Factors

When facing these items, one benefits by considering them like inciting incidents in stories. They might not ever come up exactly the same way again, but they get the ball rolling. Also, the events, especially if not addressed, may spiral into a repeating pattern.

* Bad Examples: The first relational experiences one gets is in the the home where they were born. This is where they experience trust first hand. Parents make promises to do certain things. If they fail to follow through on these things, one begins to wonder if anyone will come through when the chips are down.

* Infidelity: Nothing goes further to break trust and sow doubt from the outside than a cheating partner. Several questions, some valid and others invalid, worm their way into the mind. Cheating casts everything in a sickly light proving much more difficult to combat going forward.

Inside Factors

The internal life of someone may not overtly create trust issues. One should think of these as nutrients in the soil. They can either promote or deter the possibility of trust. These often manifest in consistent ways and are much harder to alter.

* Incorrect Messages: Taking the wrong message from an event and attaching a value statement to it causes doubt to creep around the edges. Trust needs truth like plants require sunlight. These messages are lies told to one's self.

* Inadequacy: An assessment of one's value makes trusting good and bad external events more difficult. If selecting people who always cheat, it would be easy to feel one deserves to be cheated on and not worth love. These statements are false, but the lowered view makes them easier to attach in the mind.

Making a Plan

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to come out differently causes madness. For such a reason, a person needs a plan to change their outlook on several things including themselves. The plan will address key roadblocks to altering mindsets.

* Outside help from a counselor or trusted friend gives a fresh and accurate viewpoint.
* Lists of inaccurate views and their break with outside evidence changes the way one sees things.
* Challenges arise when guarding oneself, so have a consistent series of steps to address the issues when they arise.

Growing into a Fresh Viewpoint

Once possessing an accurate view with trust as the cornerstone change becomes possible. One must strive for success even though these issues want to remain.

* Be Positive: Outlook is key, so keep it positive.

* Consistency: Momentum grows when someone executes positive behaviors like looking at things correctly.

* Use the New: New and correct viewpoints need to be guarded fiercely and used every time to bring about change.

These actions are difficult in the face of a new cheating partner or the secret whispers from inside. This is why having someone who you can ask for help bolsters the odds for success. Find that ally and lean on them when tested.

Peace comes from trusting one's self because almost everything in the world seeks to undermine it at all costs. It is not enough to be in a place emotionally where than is possible. One also needs to establish space within their life where truth can flourish. From a place of hope and trust, one can trust others and grow into deeper relationships moving forward.

Steps to Potent Passion

Couples seek ways to fire up their lives. Often the word passion denotes a focus on the bedroom. Passion means more than strictly a physical connection.

Passion builds an existing connection. Couples without connection rarely create the heat necessary to spark deep and lasting passion. Taking the small steps permit couples to move toward greater passion and find the right spot to light the fire they need.

Changes Are Key

Routine allows couples to possess a sense of continuity in their relationship. A fine line exists between comfort and staleness. Couples who experience the same things repeatedly have tendency fall closer to complacency. They sense everything is fine and will always be that way.

This makes throwing a little variety critical to ignite passion. Step one is making a change, any change, and see where things go. Some ways to shake things up can include planning an event with a small amount of direct interaction like a concert. Travel provides an easy way to change things up by drastically altering the surroundings, entertainment options and local cuisine making passion a pleasurable byproduct.

Take More Risks

Couples looking to fire things up must do more than just change things. Making an effort by expanding their horizons offers an opening for passion to enter. Risks come in several stripes. What may sound daring to one partner may be dipping a toe in the pool for another.

Talking about what to do, how risky to be and getting comfortable with the expectations assures both people will not be uncomfortable when the time comes to jump in the water.

One should never force their partner into things they do not want to do because nothing stifles passion like an unwilling participant. Let's look at some guidelines for stretching the boundaries.

* Make It New for Both of You: No one should be an expert because it allow growth and comfort for both of you.
* Be Open: Saying yes, even with the possibility of appearing foolish, will generate a thrill leading to enriching passion.
* Laugh About the Mistakes: Doing something risky means things might not go perfectly and laughing about the foibles free everyone up to do it again.

Contact Is Critical

Passion grows best in an environment where every level of relational contact is present. Couples who communicate well, trust one another and connect find passion in almost everything they do. They relish the new things they experience while enjoying tasks other may find mundane.

Physical contact is more than merely sexual contact. Hand holding can occur in the grocery store or after an mud run where both people are filthy and tired. Simple touching can grow to more intimate contact. Stolen kisses linger for longer and longer making skin warm to match beating hearts.

More important than mere physical contact is a meeting of a couple's hearts. Hearts united and open will give each person the freedom they need to share the deepest longings, desires and truths. In the cauldron of deep love, passion blazes bright. Couples are able to maintain a passion like this because of the trust they have in each other.

Passion proves best when maintained and grown over time. Phases of life exist where passion flees. Often outside circumstances rob couples of their passion.

One of the saddest days occur when a couple surrenders their passion thinking it has been lost forever when all they need is a little time and care. Take the steps necessary and jealously guard the passion between you because it is priceless.

Too Many Break Ups

While in the midst of a series of break ups, people see them as eternal and feel as though nothing will ever change. The sensation may cause one to question if they have made the right decision.

An important thing to remember is patterns shift without warning. One might begin questioning if they have gone through too many break ups following their most recent one.

This sensation will be heightened if several have occurred within a short period of time. Spotting warning signs of a concerning trend may signify a deeper issue. Identifying them becomes critical before making any changes.

Addicted to the New

Some people crave new relationships and will end a relationship to experience something new. Those pursuing novelty may not even realize the pattern in their behavior. Let's look at some reasons the new might appeal to a person.

* Fresh Stories: After hearing repeated tales from the same person, the seeker will get to hear things they never have. A new teller might even spice up similar stories which have grown stale.

* Loss of Interest: Those entranced by originality may tune out of the relationship when things grow familiar. With this lack, they seek something to spice things up.

* Opportunity for Reinvention: Sometimes they also might wish to change their own narrative. As with their partner, telling one's history grows tedious for themselves as well. They can embellish new things when they retell it to someone different.

Lacking Growth

Someone who chronically bails from the couple could believe they have reached the zenith of the relationship. Like with the quest for the new, they feel the next person possesses the correct key to unlock all their potential. A sad truth is the individual responsible for their stagnation is often not the other person. Rarely does the person ending things repeatedly have the courage to address the deeper truth. Connected to this viewpoint is how the person uses their romantic partners for their own end. Rather than embracing who they want to become and pursing the goal, they look for another person to fill the hole within themselves.

Afraid of What's Next

Being too scared to move deeper into a committed relationship is a common problem for those who chronically terminate relationships. Most of the greatest concerns facing the couple prove more imagined than real. Commitment allows for deeper growth. Love becomes richer when couples display vulnerability with one another. One of the sad truths is such a level can only be achieved by those who remain together and unafraid of what the future holds for them.

One of the most important things to remember is too many break ups does not denote a number. A person can have a single relationship end causing them to surrender their hope of finding someone they love and who loves them. Also, the only time the number is too many is after finding the right person. Be aware of the reasons for each break up, do not fall into an unhealthy pattern and trust in the possibility of love.

The Hazard of Happiness from Others

A sensation of happiness arise from countless sources like a fresh baked cookie from a parent, a great nap on a rainy day or the ideal word from the most important person in one's life. While not bad in and of themselves, only seeking happiness from others leads to numerous complications. Romantic relationships relying solely on one another for any form of validation bring even greater issues. Understanding the reasons why this viewpoint is bad for the other person, the individual and the relationship as a whole must be understood before spotting red flag this reliance has crept into the relationship already.

Reasons It Is Bad for Them

People, even the best and most given ones, do not save other people. Placing someone in a position where they must sustain an emotional well with the potential of never being completely filled asks too much of them. This multifaceted person transforms into a conduit of the desired thing: Happiness. Consider how two dimensional it makes them. When the transition happens, then little concern arises for their needs. They stop being someone and becomes something.

Reasons It Is Bad for You

No one has ever grown, found satisfying love or even a good friend by focusing on getting something from another person. Even in scenarios where a quid pro quo exists, the transactional nature poisons one's ability to focus on sacrificially caring for the other person because you are not invested in them and their happiness. Outside of the relationship and the other person, it becomes harder to grow and experience things on your own due to having this great person who is there just to make you happy.

Reasons It Is Bad for the Relationship

Think about a spider's web. No matter how large the spider or intricate their web, no one has ever witnessed them catching a bird. Relationships are similarly fragile and sticky. If one person becomes selfish and claims the lion's share of anything, the balance gets thrown off and everything falls down. Also, it is easy for this to become a pattern without anyone realizing. When this happens, it becomes much harder to break the cycle and move forward. Both people must seek the other's happiness and revel in the joy they receive from being with the other person.

Red Flags of Happiness Dominance

Some signs might peek around the corners letting one know this already exists. Let's look at these concerns.

* Swinging Up and Down: Responding overly up or down when receiving happiness from one's partner may demonstrate and overly charged link. Variations should exist in one's emotions, but it becomes troubling when tied to a specific person and their behaviors or responses.

* Running Off Fear: Fear within in a relationships is like fast food for the body. It can be a good short term solution, but things operate poorly in such an environment. If one only feels the acidic tang on fear when not receiving happiness from their partner, the cycle may have started.

* Rudderlessness: A withdrawal of overall happiness when not supplied by one's partner might create a sensation of being lost. The best way to identify this is when everything else seems to running well and yet not knowing where to go, what to do or how one feels overwhelms everything else.

Some of the greatest joy one can feel is in caring for another person and receiving the care in return. Watch for a growing sense of selfishness and be quick to talk to each other. This can be difficult for either individual because the temptation to say this is how love is supposed to be displayed. Healthy boundaries mean not siphoning off another person or letting them use you for their benefit. Be partners and love one another well.

Not Wanting Your Ex Back

Not Wanting Your Ex Back
Everyone possesses a fantasy where an ex comes crawling back bereft of pride longing to be accepted back. The reason this is such a prevalent dream stems from it not happening too often. If every ex wanted to reconnect, a single cycle of couples would exist. Because real life is always more complicated, one needs a plan to gracefully address how to handle the unwanted advances of an ex.

The Initial Salvo

This generally comes out of the blue. If one remains in contact with an ex, they are fully award of what is going on and there should not be a request for reestablishing the relationship. Taking important steps at the outset are key when receiving the call, email or visit where an ex pleads to come back.

* Take Time: Just because they have formulated their thoughts and feelings does not mean one must respond in the now. Despite being tempted to shut things down immediately, asking for some time to think about what has been said will give the correct impression and allow them to feel as though their request has been seriously pondered.

* Consider the Request: While easy to think you know how you feel, you should deeply debate what is being asked. This is done to accurate assess what you feel and why. You can address their concerns in advance in later steps. Also, it might prevent you from looking foolish should you decide after a short time you want them back. It does not hurt to think things through.

The Response

Your answer will be the most fraught with tension. They have been waiting for it. You are placing yourself at risk and possibly acting as someone who could be characterized negatively. Use these as guideposts in giving your reply to the request.

* Be firm and honest about how you feel. Being too soft will only leave the door open for another uncomfortable conversation.
* Explain things from your side. They have come to you and do not know what you think or feel, so they need to understand.
* Keep it short and kind. Acting like you could not think less of them is unnecessary. Regardless of how you feel, they were vulnerable with you, so respect them.

Resist the Push Back

After the response, your ex is likely to come back again or argue particular points. This will happen because they have already put themselves out there once and feel less concerned about doing it again. Think about all the times you have tried something challenging. After discovering you did not die and it was far easier than expected, there is less internal resistance to do it a second time.

For this reason, you will need to fight against a plan to be manipulated. Your ex might not be intending to do it, but hearing no triggers a combative response in people. They will access deep reserves. Also, they may use arguments deemed too rude or base during their opening request. You will need to rely on yourself, what you know and the inner strength you have developed.

Telling someone no in any context is hard. This is why we couch so many things with language designed to soften the blow. In this setting, your firmness is the kindest thing you can offer to your ex while being careful not to dip into cruelty. If you care about them, you will release them and yourself to a future free of second guessing.

How To Get Your Ex Back

Hooked Up With Your Partner

There was a discussion which I attended sometime ago. The discussion was based on divorce and breaking up family and home. As we were discussing someone said a wife must not leave her husband, neither husband must not leave her wife, but if he or she does, he or she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled with each other.



There Is Hope In Getting Your Ex Back

I want to tell you now that, there is hope in getting back your Ex, maybe you are thinking and confused on how it going to happen, here is some good news. Did you know that most relationship can be salvaged? due to infidelity,plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and so on.





Think About This

Think about this thing for a second, many broken relationship we are having this day is because of one hatred or the other, can you say why they broke up in  the first place? now there is a recipe for "Love" as well as recipe for winning back and keeping someone interest, desire, passion, heart, and love which I want to talk about here.



What Are You Thinking

I don't know if you are experiencing a situation like thinking non-stop about why your Ex left you, feeling massively depressed,endlessly rehearsing what you should have said and so on. I have an answer for you and the answer is "Love recipe" (The Magic Of Making Love).